Serendipity. Synchronicity. Blessing. Calling.
To find something unexpected. To experience meaningful connections between experiences. To recognize the blessings therein. To hear a distinct calling.
It is a wonderful and unusual chain of events that has brought me to this place, to my “now” and to be at ChI. It is a path that I walk as my ministry continues to develop. With each step I continue to receive inspirational ah-ha’s that I am acting in alignment with my life purpose to witness suffering and beauty.
On a Sunday in January of 2002, I went to The University Art Museum on the University of California campus to view the work of photographer Sebastio Salgado’s show “Migrations: Humanity in Transition." I thought I was going to see some art and then afterwards enjoy a relaxing afternoon lunch in a local café. That was not to be. My life unexpectedly changed forever that afternoon and I was led to a series of events over the last nine years. As a professional photographer, who I am as an artist is to witness, record and express what I see and feel in ways that touch the viewer’s hearts.
That Sunday at the Salgado show, it was me who was deeply affected and moved into action. Unable to walk away from the disturbing images of world suffering viewed at the museum that day. I was motivated to think globally and act locally. The form that took was manifested in participating in six AIDS LifeCycle 601-mile benefit bike rides from S.F. to L.A. and raising much needed funds and awareness to help relieve suffering of those with AIDS.
Upon completion of my second ALC and celebrating with my wife Susan in L.A., I read an L.A. Times cover article on a book written by two hospice nurses called Final Gifts: Communications with the Dying. This unexpected signpost steered me to working in the hospice world.
I was trained as a hospice volunteer at Pathways Hospice in 2003 and began numerous Zen Hospice workshops.
In 2007, wanting to combine my professional photography skills with a ministry around death and dying, I became a photographer and the volunteer area coordinator for Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep. Since 2007 I have been working closely with area hospital Neonatal Intensive Care Unit medical staff and social workers to provide infant bereavement in hospitals as a way to assist grieving parents. I continue to receive confirmation that I am made for this kind of compassion work.
Still, over a nine-year period I continued searching for my “place” and my right livelihood within the hospice/hospital world. Nothing was appearing right despite investigating chaplaincy in 2005, being trained as a life-direction coach in 2007 and briefly considering social work and nursing. Focusing my professional photography services on the healthcare and medical industry proved to be somewhat fruitful but ultimately disappointing as I realized my true attraction and mission was focused on the people themselves and relieving their suffering.
In March of 2010, my father was admitted to hospice with stage 4-lung cancer. I was blessed to be there with him on his hospice journey. I got to see hospice care, not as a caregiver but from the other side of the room. There are so many wonderful professional hospice staff members providing true compassionate service. But it was the home healthcare attendant named Sam, whose seemingly mundane maintenance duties were to bath, shave and dress my Dad, demonstrated what a true ministry could be. His caring ways showed love and respect at every turn. My brother and I felt certain he was praying for my Dad as he carried out his tasks. I was inspired by his example and I saw demonstrated before me what a ministry could be. With a sense of certainty, I was led to chaplaincy. Discovering ChI again confirmed my calling to this expression of ministry.
At a very young age, I discovered I was creative and wanted to express myself through art. I also was aware of a deep sense of empathy for and awareness of those around me. Now at 54 years old, I look back over my lifetime of experiences and observe how important living out a life of compassion and creating art continues to be. Through conscious values clarification work, my life-direction and purpose have become clear. My calling is to witness suffering and beauty. It is to be with both. To look with courage and compassion at that suffering which many look away from. To realize that suffering and beauty are sometimes ironically present in the same moment. And it is to accept my responsibility to see and experience the amazing beauty all around me.
In my calling to witness suffering and beauty, inspiration and mystery continue to be my familiar and welcome companions. I envision a unique, color-outside-of-the-lines ministry in the areas of both hospice/hospital and art. My hospice chaplaincy is a picture is slowly taking shape and I hold that with a sense of wonder. And my vision as an artist-minister includes encouraging the spiritual practice of creativity in all people as well as continuing to create my own art from a place of inspiration. Recently in the Judaism module I had the mystical experience of coloring outside the lines of the usual sermon format. Using the process of a live performance to take “dictation from G-d” and illustrate the idea of Tikkun Olam (heal the world), I interpreted the Dylan song Everything is Broken in paint. (see picture below).
In welcoming the serendipitous, seeing the synchronicity, accepting the blessings and hearing my calling clarified, I am very happy to have received the confirmations that led me here and knowing that this ChI path is my right path.
Painting Title: Tikkun Olam
This painting is the result of a live "dictation from G-d" painting-performance sermon during the Sept. ChI Judaism module. It illustrates the Jewish concept Tikkun Olam (repair the world) by way of painted interpretation of the Bob Dylan song: Everything is Broken.
Tikkun Olam is a phrase that comes from Kabbalah (the mystical aspect of Judaism) that literally translates as “repairing the world”. Kabbalah offers a mystical explanation for the creation of the universe. The doctrine claims that in creating the world, God used too much energy and benevolence, thus shattering the finite vessels that God had created. (Those “vessels” included all finite beings, inanimate and animate, vegetable, animal, and especially, human.) When Jews fulfill their obligations under God’s commandments, they literally help fix the shattered world. Jews thus have immense power— a comforting message to Jews faced by the horrors of the Holocaust—for even if they are often helpless victims in their lives on earth, in the celestial realm, they can do nothing less than fix God and the world God created.
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