I am a chaplain at Alta Bates Summit Medical Center here in Berkeley, in a year-long residency program. I have visited “Jeff” a number of times and we are on a first name basis. Jeff is a brilliant 80-year-old firecracker whose stroke has left him fighting for words. Every syllable is alive in his eyes—yet goes missing when he tries to speak, leaving him quite frustrated.
One day, at the end of a visit with him and his wife, she asked for a prayer. We closed our eyes and held hands as I prayed to the Holy One,"You who are called by many names..." I ended the prayer asking Holy One to bless this beloved Jeff.
I opened my eyes to see that he was very excited. When I leaned in to hear what he was trying to say, he blurted, “Belllooovvveed bbbuuulll ssshhii (t)!!” We then discussed how his stroke had left him feeling anything but loveable or beloved.
Later his wife apologized, thinking his outburst had offended me as a chaplain. She should know me better! She talked about struggle, balance, and the tension of opposites. Reverence—vs. her husband’s outburst—a joyous irreverence. And how will Jeff balance his pain and vulnerability with his pre-stroke joy and curiosity? And for her now…how will she balance the roles of wife and caretaker?
As she described these pulls, she reached her arms out and stepped into her tension rather than away from it. This simple act of stepping into her quandry was profound for me. She put her struggle into movement, as a sort of body prayer...an invitation.
I pondered how often we are poised with these invitations, and whether—and how—we step into the challenge. Could I have a stroke, like Jeff, with all of the accompanying pain discomfort, and still have fire in my eyes?
The Catholic theologian, Sister Joan Chittister, says that to go down into pain with another person—that is, to step into it—breaks open the heart of God.
Jeff expressed his frustration and angst by exclaiming, “Grrr! Bullshi!” And, in turn, I stepped into the invitation of that moment by agreeing with his angst and blessing it.
Where do you hear or feel an invitation? Do you listen to the call of 12-Step theology when it beckons you to "Let go and let God"? Does Great Spirit call to you by proclaiming, “I come to you in the shimmering”—the glassy reflection on a lake or the whisper of the wind in the trees? Or perhaps you hear the call through the familiar prayer, “Thy will be done.” Or you may draw solace from the Hebrew song, “Mi Sheberech,” which petitions, “Help us find the courage to make our lives a blessing, and let us say, Amen.”
Like Jeff, each and every day we face invitations and obstacles. How do we say "Yes" to the Divine, to Adonai, to Allah, to the Buddha …to tolerance, to compassion, to humanity?
The path of life is “Slippery When Wet”. Where do we gain our footing as we lean into life’s invitations?
Some time today, tomorrow, or the day after, I invite you to stand up, place your arms outstretched, throw your head back as Jeff did, and announce out loud what you are stepping into...what are you affirming…for yourself and the Highest Good of all concerned... and let your heart say, “YES!”