During the June Interfaith module I will teach a class that uses The Hero’s Journey as a metaphor for personal transformation and spiritual growth. In preparation for this class, I have reflected on my own life and the threads of different stories that were woven together to help me deepen my calling.
Although events in our lives often seem unrelated and random, at times a “snowball effect” can occur, resulting in a journey that is greater than what we may have imagine was possible. I am sharing pieces of my story as a teaching tool, as an example of how despair and elation, anguish and joy are all a part of the cycle, part of the flow of The Hero’s Journey that leads us deeper into communion with our Soul.
When I was 24 I had just moved back to Minnesota after a year of teaching art in Los Angeles. It was the most gratifying job I’d ever had. When I returned, I couldn’t find a job I liked or one that paid enough to support me. But I had to find a job! I started working as a temporary administrative assistant for a consulting firm and was immediately offered a permanent position.
For the next 6 years, I mastered every computer software program they had, teaching myself how to do rudimentary graphic arts and create elaborate spreadsheets for conducting statistical analysis. As I wrote summary reports for clients, I was aghast at what I was doing with my life. I was wasting it! The longer I worked there, the more miserable I became. Yes, my debt was slowly being paid off, but each day in that job caused me to feel that my lifespan was shortening by leaps and bounds. I needed to do something—fast! Graduate school seemed like an obvious next step, but I didn’t know what I wanted to study. I prayed for guidance and left it at that.
During every lunch break, I walked down to the local park, grabbed a bagel and iced tea, and start reading books by Joseph Campbell. I have no memory of how I came across The Hero with a Thousand Faces, but Campbell’s revelations touched a profound place in me. I read voraciously. With each passage that I underlined, something in me cracked open a little more. I felt as though I had found the Holy Grail.
One day after a long lunch reading about the hero’s journey, I closed my office door and searched the Internet for potential graduate schools. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed a program called Creation Spirituality in Oakland, CA. Upon further investigation, I discovered that this degree combined art, spirituality and new cosmology—the three things in my life that I felt were of utmost importance. I was astounded! I could hardly believe such a thing existed. Within a few months I had left my unfulfilling job behind and was living in Oakland, California.
A few years later, I was offered a job as a professional graphic artist for Matthew Fox’s Techno Cosmic Mass (TCM). (Interestingly, the only reason I had graphic arts skills was because I’d worked at that hugely unfulfilling job for six years.) Next thing I knew, I had become a graphic artist and a core-team member of the TCM. The skills I learned there were incredible. I built all the altars for the Mass, developed my graphic art skills, learned how to program websites, and even “came out” as a singer and sang during worship events.
My boyfriend at the time, Patrick, also worked for the TCM. It was his job to distribute the promotional flyers that I created. One day he brought a handful of flyers into a small office building where he met Gina Rose Halpern, Founding Director of The Chaplaincy Institute. After an hour-long conversation, Gina Rose suggested that Patrick come to the Chaplaincy Institute’s open house. When Patrick told Gina Rose that I had been thinking of going to ChI, Gina Rose replied, “Bring her with you!” A few days later, we attended the open house. Again, I had a strong intuition that I was “home.” I immediately applied, and two months later began my studies at ChI.
During my two years at The Chaplaincy Institute I developed my dreamwork skills and fulfilled my call to become a minister. At the time I was ordained, I didn’t know what to do with my ministry. I was by this time a self-employed graphic artist, but going through the ordination process made me realize I wasn’t meant to be a professional graphic artist. I didn’t want any more clients, which meant I needed a job.
Synchronistically, the ChI office coordinator had an opportunity to travel abroad and pleaded with me to fill in for him for a month. At first I said, “Absolutely not!” But he begged and told me I was the only one he trusted to fill in for him. Of course, I gave in, and he taught me what I needed to know.
In the meantime, ChI Director Gina Rose was preparing for heart surgery and wanted someone who knew the program intimately to help ensure continuity for the school in her absence. She came to me one day and said, “Amy, will you consider being the Administrative Director?” Initially, I said “Absolutely not!” But something in me stirred just a little bit. I had loved my studies at ChI and wanted to see it flourish as an organization. After a week of deep reflection, and much to my complete and total surprise, I changed my mind and said yes.
One day while in the office I showed Gina Rose an elaborate spreadsheet I’d created that helped me keep track of student progress. Gina Rose’s mouth dropped open and she said, “I’ve always wanted to have someone working here who knows how to create Excel spreadsheets like this.” Of course, the only reason I knew how to do this was because I’d worked at that previous insufferable job for six years! I sighed, reflecting on all the times in my life I’d felt I was off-track, and how all along I was doing exactly what I needed to be doing to lead me to where I was going.
The months slipped by. Once again, I found myself working in finance and administration, two skills I’d learned along the way, but also two areas that felt far removed from my soul’s calling. I plunged into despair and had a long discussion with my spiritual director. She said, “What is your soul’s calling? Do you know?” I said, “Ironically, I think it’s to help people find their soul’s calling.” Everything in my life seemed to be leading me in that direction. But, I was stuck and had no idea what to do next.
A month later, a ChI student submitted an evaluation for one of the modules. In her comments she said, “I wish we could do one-on-one dreamwork and work with our dreams with other students more often.” I took this evaluation to heart and knew that I could teach a dreamwork class on how to do one-on-one dreamwork. It just so happened that Jeremy Taylor, our dreamwork teacher, wasn’t going to be able to teach in April, leaving an opening for me to teach that month’s class.
Once again, I was elated and felt as if I had found the Holy Grail. It was magical to be talking about dreamwork and teaching people how to find deeper meaning in their dreams. I knew without a doubt, that this was my ministry and my calling.
During the June Interfaith module I will be teaching again—this time, about The Hero’s Journey as a Religious Archetype, and how those archetypes manifest in our dreams. In conducting research for this class, I began voraciously reading every book I could find on comparative mythology and our Soul’s calling. One day, I noticed a crate of books sitting on my living room floor. I started digging to the bottom of the crate and found exactly what I needed, Joseph Campbell’s The Hero with a Thousand Faces. I picked it up and started leafing through it. “Perfect!” I thought. “This book will help me tremendously.”
As I looked through the book, I was surprised to find so many underlined passages. Initially I was confused and thought I had a used copy of the book. I did not remember that I had read the entire book myself. Then it dawned on me: this book had been the catalyst for everything! And, seven years later, I am teaching the very subject that started the snowball rolling.
We all have a Soul’s calling and can never stray from that path. The trials we face help us grow deeper into ourselves and bring fullness to our life. I don’t think I would have made it as a minister or teacher through conventional methods. It took working in jobs I didn’t like, learning skills I thought I had no use for, and constantly saying yes to invitations that had no obvious meaning for me, in order to unravel the mystery of my Soul’s calling. And I know there is more for me—it’s not over yet!
The call continues for all of us. How will you answer yours?