Living in the Breath
March 18, 2006
On behalf of Bonnie, Scott and myself, I want to thank you all for being here today. Thank you for witnessing and supporting us during this precious ceremony of ordination.
Today, I want to offer you a technique for thriving through loss. It is— breathing. For 30 years I have worked as a speech/language pathologist in healthcare, which has included teaching efficient inspiration for effective speaking. Now, as an interfaith minister, I have added teaching efficient inspiration for effective contemplative listening.
I find it interesting that this ministry evolved out of a question I asked my teacher in 1996. This teacher is the departed Betty Bethards, whose work was greatly inspired by her own two near-death experiences and the loss of her two young adult sons. She taught that there is no death, that we create through our thoughts, and that meditation and dreams are essential tools for receiving inner guidance. She validated her teachings with common-sense interpretations of sacred text because she had been required to memorize much of the New Testament as a child, having been raised in a fundamentalist Baptist household.
One day, I asked her to explain the meaning of “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” She thought for a moment and then said, “I am not sure what it means.”
Now, here I am ten years later, with my own journey through tragic loss, which included going back to school to obtain my doctorate and going to the Chaplaincy Institute. I finally have an answer.
During my studies I took a course from Neil Douglas-Klotz, which involved studying and chanting the Beatitudes in Aramaic. Aramaic, Jesus’ native language, offers multiple levels for rich translations.
The first Beatitude spoken by Jesus of Nazareth in The Sermon on the Mount is:
“Tubwayhun l’meskenaee b’rukh d’dilhounhie malkutha dashmaya.”
In the King James Bible this verse reads, “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” However, one of many translations from Aramaic is “Happy and aligned with the One are those who find their home in the breathing; to them belong the inner kingdom of heaven.”
So the ten Beatitudes suddenly become a ten-step process for healing faith during loss. The process involves our breath. Those who relax in their breath can abide in life in way that offers quality, integrity, compassion, and success. Breath brings joy and peace. This is the kingdom of heaven on Earth, and our currency is our breath.
I developed great gratitude for breath during my own life journey. In January 2000, our fourteen year-old daughter, Cj, was put on a ventilator to help her breathe one week before she died. Her diagnosis of a life-threatening illness four months earlier took my breath away.
Restricted chest breathing is the natural response to fear and sorrow. For 15 months, Cj’s death took its toll—including on grandparents; I lost both my parents and then my father-in-law. Everyone I knew was grieving. Breath had become shallow, restricted by chests tightened from wounded hearts.
However, something was also happening that expanded my breath.
“Tubwayhum lawile d’hinnon netbayun.”
The second Beatitude in the King James Bible reads “Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted.” From Aramaic, one translation reads, "Blessed are those in emotional turmoil; they shall be united inside by love and feeling an inner continuity.” My grief taught me that I breathed more deeply when I lamented and wailed with tears streaming down my face. I felt myself let go. In this letting go within my sorrow, I discovered an internal wise comforting voice that gave me strength, hope, and faith during my misery. In this way, I found my breath.
I live and work within the cycle of losing and finding breath. Breath is a precious gift. It is the foundation of my career, and my daily life—including marriage to Chuck and motherhood to Elise. Breath is the foundation of my ministry.
The Chaplaincy Institute inspired me to abandon my early retirement. Now I work regularly at a hospital that specializes in serving patients with breathing problems who require the help of ventilators. Ministry has moved me beyond simply teaching breathing for communication to include blessing and inspiration.
May you all breathe deeply during life’s ups and downs, and may you live a life that is full of quality, integrity, compassion, and success.