I am fortunate to have a joyful, warm and loving connection to Jesus. It has been that way since I can remember.
I didn't get how unusual this is until I took a workshop with a man who was writing a book. He interviewed over 500 people and asked the question, “At what point in your life did you decide to follow a faith or leave it behind, and why?”
He asked this question of the eight of us attending the workshop. Many had horrible memories of being forced to go to church, or of cruel nuns at school, or of religion being forced down their throats. Everyone, except me, had at some point decided to step away with no plans of returning.
I was shocked! The host of the workshop stopped me as I was leaving that evening. He said, “You are very lucky. Only 3% of the 500 people I spoke with shared your experience of with religion—3%!”
I will now share with you, with a renewed sense of gratitude, what I shared with people at the workshop.
______________________________
When I was 5 years old, I started jumping the back yard fence in order to attend Sunday School classes at the Mennonite church behind my childhood home. Attending this Sunday school gave me a love for Jesus that has lasted my whole life.
I loved to learn about Jesus, memorize Bible verses, learn new songs, make and decorate crosses out of Popsicle sticks. As summer approached, I could hardly sleep at night just knowing soon I would get to attend “Vacation Bible School”. For two weeks, four hours a day (not nearly enough!), five days a week, I got to learn about and love Jesus. It was my heaven. Today, Vacation Bible School remains among my most wonderful childhood memories.
When I was about 10, I started going to the First Baptist Church with a friend’s family. Here I began to learn that religion was not as simple as memorizing Bible verses or singing a song. I found out that I was a sinner, and that God sacrificed His only Son to die on the cross to save me from an eternity in hell.
I accepted Jesus into my heart and prayed nightly that my sins would be forgiven and that I might be worthy to enter the gates of heaven. I learned that it was also necessary to be baptized, so I did that too. I wanted to do everything right to guarantee my spot at Jesus’ feet. Sadly, my innocent joy decreased as the dogma increased.
As time passed, I drifted in and out of different churches. It had nothing to do with my relationship with Jesus. I always found Jesus just waiting for me to speak up, connect or pray. My drifting had everything to do with the dictates of organized religion. In fact, when I did my inner spiritual care session with my friend Jesus for my ChI homework, Jesus' concerns stemmed from the distortions of his life and message.
In order to switch careers last year, I found myself at Holy Names University attending the Sophia Masters program in Culture and Spirituality, embracing the study of cosmology—the study of the cosmos and evolution. As I began to learn about cosmology at the Sophia Center, I struggled with how to integrate my understanding of Jesus. I asked several people, “Where does Jesus fit in this cosmological scheme?”
One nun told me, “Oh we threw Jesus out with the bathwater a long time ago!” I laughed. She didn’t.
Throughout my travels and my attendance at many different churches, I continued to wonder: what was the message of the Jesus who I learned to love so dearly as a child?
When Jesus was questioned on the Laws of Moses, his answer was clear.
A lawyer asked, “Teacher, (referring to Jesus) which is the great commandment in the law? Jesus said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” (New King James Version, Matthew 22: 36- 39)
If you can, imagine with me a world that abides by these simple words:
Love God. Love yourself. Love one another.
Such a simple message that seems impossible for us to heed.
I have found over the years that my belief in Jesus of Nazareth continues to expand and grow. My view of Jesus expanded even further as I read the book Meeting Jesus Again for the First Time by Marcus J. Borg. It was fascinating to step back from my Christian upbringing and look at Jesus from a simply historical viewpoint. It did not cause my faith to waiver; actually, it made Jesus more human and real.
It took several months and many conversations with people of different viewpoints to come to the truth that is mine: Jesus is simply my way-shower. He has shown me that the key is to Love God. Love yourself. Love one another.
If you can, imagine with me a world that abides by these simple yet profound words.
